My program

One of the things about this program that I am already learning, is being able to adapt to so many situations. When to interject and when to speak. The girls I room with always feel the need to interject their opinions on ever topic and every situation. It shows me the insecurities of all of the very quickly. Positivity is something that isn’t really prevelant here. My roommate Katie is the one I connect with the most because we see the glass half full rather than half empty like the other 4. We really are like sisters in a way. The ;only problem is for now, she doesn’t like to have deeper conversations. She will on occasion and she will tell me she loves me every now and then, but when something deep is brought up she won’t talk about it. Which is ok. I know with time, she will open up. It is so comforting to know that I have something sleeping in the same room as me. I never thought I would miss human contact and connect like I do. Greg and the kitties being in my room were what I wanted when I was sad. And today with Katie being at work and me being sick in my bed, it really made me realize even having her in her bed doing her own thing, I missed her in here. I have also learned that I tend to put up a wall and protect myself a lot quicker than I thought. I am a very open and inviting person, but when it comes to men down here I hate all of the them. They all want to get in some girls pants and they think they have the capability to do that. It really irritates me. The experiences I get to have during this program are amazing. I feel this was so perfect for me to do. It has allowed me to be vulnerable and shown that after this, if I want to move to Seattle with my sweetie, I am more than capable to do it. I am so proud of myself and how motivated I feel every day. I am always doing something or trying to do something. I haven’t cried nearly as much as I thought. I know that when the holidays come along I will have a hard time, but for now things are tough and that’s ok. I have a lot of family issues back in Utah. Mom won’t talk to me. This is the first time I have stood up to her since I was 16, and she didn’t like that. It felt good to say that she wasn’t right and it only matters how I feel about my greg not her. But mom didn’t like that. So She won’t talk to me right now. Dad is getting separated from Laurie and that has been hard for me because I want to help dad in any way I possibly can. I love and miss him so much. I feel like I should be there to help him. I’ve taken my sleeping pills so don’t judge my spellin