Take Care

Realizing that you are alone in this trek called life, is kind of a slap in the face, yet really exciting. You think your friends will be with you, thick, or thin, reality is, they are there when it is convenient for them. The only person is there for me through anything, my mama. I love her so much. I am so excited that I am 22 and I am learning to be the woman I am wanting to be in this life. It is really awesome and amazing.


I went to class tonight. Mortuary class. LOVED it. He brought a casket into class to show us the proper way to close and open one with family and the body inside. He also put make-up on my hand to show me what it looks like to reconstruct someone. It was amazing. It showed me again, how passionate I am about this occupation. I love it. I love being around the dead, being around people who work with the dead, and I just love assisting those who have passed on. It is such an amazing gift that I am proud to own that I am passionate about this job choice. If only I could be working in it right now.


This song Take Care by Drake Ft. Rihanna has really caught my attention. "I know you've been hurt, by someone else." It reminds me of myself. It reminds me to take care of myself. Love myself and take care of myself first. Anyway, enough rambling for now.

Mortuary Science

So in case you guys don't know, I am studying to be a mortician. I want to be one so dang bad. I think it just goes really well with my personality and life style. It is something I find great satisfaction and joy in. I love it.

Tonight as I was reading my textbook for class on Mortuary Science, I had the goosebumps. It was amazing. You know that you are going into the right field when you find your textbook more interesting than free reading. I love my textbook. I read so much tonight and I feel like I just absorbed SO much information. I mean how cool at 22 I know I want to be a mortician. How many people can say that? Not a lot that is for sure.

That is where I know that I am unique. Well one area that I know that I am unique. I love being involved in other's lives in that sense. It is so peaceful for me and calming. It also makes sense with the gift that I have of seeing spirits and talking to them. It is something that is growing stronger within the last month or so, and it excites me that I can use my gift when I am a mortician.

This week is a somewhat busy week for me. It is Valentine's day on Tuesday, and for the first time in a long long time, I am not happy about this holiday. I think we should skip it for us single sad girls. haha. No no no, I love this day because I get to show the people I care about them that I truly love them and care deeply for them. I mean yes the relationship aspect of the situation is not pleasant, but I love seeing people in love. :) Anyway enough for now. Today was a good day. Can you tell? I am happy today. :)

New York City

On Tuesday night at midnight I flew out to New York City. Just for the day. I arrived at JFK airport around 0600 and immediately felt at peace. Stepping off the plane there is this certain smell of JFK airport and it sent chills up and down my spine and arms. I love that airport no matter how little space there is and how there is not a whole lot of places to relax and eat.

I raced to the Airtrain that takes you to the subway. Luckily I have been so often, that I know exactly which line to catch, and where it will take me. I got on the Airtrain and enjoyed the beautiful sunrise all the way to the subway.
I got off the train and bought my subway ticket. Waiting for the subway was interesting. People look at you funny if you are smiling so happy to be where you are. :)

I got on the train and sat next to this girl who was just blaring her music and I loved every second of it. The train got crowded because of the morning rush, but it was so cool to smell all the smells and to hear everyone with their music. I got off the train at Canal Street so I could transfer to the WTC train. I got to the WTC and immediately was overwhelmed. I cry every single time I step foot on ground zero. It is such a place of strength and sorrow. I feel all the energy of that day. The pain, hurt, hate, sadness, it hurts my soul and overwhelms my heart.

I decided it was too early to really do anything so I decided to go do the Statue Of Liberty. 13.00 got me my ticket to Liberty Island and Ellis Island. The Lady Liberty was beautiful. She is such a symbol of our country and how cool I was so close to her. You can see the representation of what she mean by just pictures, but in person she takes your breath away. I absolutely just fell in love.

Ellis Island was pretty cool as well. I walked in and I could hear all the hustle and bustle of the immigrants with their suitcases and how they were excited to be off the ship. I could feel the crowded hallways and the corridors. It was amazing.

I got back to the mainland and had lunch etc. Then it was time to see if I could get tickets for the 9/11 Memorial. You have to get tickets in advance or else you can't go see it. Luckily, there was one ticket left for 230, and I got it. They have really intense security there so just like the airport and even Lady Liberty, I went through intense security. But walking onto that memorial, you forget everything. You forget who you were and why you are where you are. I felt an overwhelming adoration for this spot. I could see myself coming every afternoon with my lunch and eating here. Feeling the beauty of the memorial. It took my breath away and I cried and cried.

9/11 will always and forever carry a special place in my heart and soul. I now wear a bracelet everyday that reminds me of my love for 9/11 and how I donated money that day to rebuild our towers.

It was time to say goodbye.

I hopped on the train back to the airport, and waited about 3 hours, and flew back home to SLC. I had an amazing time. maybe I will go again next week or something. Just absolutely beautiful and I know I am meant to live there one day.

I'll Take You There

I have decided something pretty important laying here next to my monster Clementine...

I am so awesome! If someone doesn't want to be with me/by my friend/love me/appreciate me, WHY is it worth my time and energy?? It's SO not.

I am so funny, I'm laying here in bed watching Portlandia for the 1500th time and just enjoying the sound of my laughter. I haven't laughed like this is such a long time. When I wake up from my nap from working all night, I'm going to put cute clothes on, makeup and look good for me! I seriously am falling in love with myself. Not like the greek myth of Narcissus, but enough to enjoy my own company and my own love and energy.

I'll Take You There. This song is seriously stuck in my head every time I watch Portlandia. It is in the first episode and it seriously is SO funny. If I was to produce a TV show, it would have to be Portlandia. *sigh*

tip toe

It's quite interesting to me,

when people put there heart out there, out to be admired, out to be loved, out to be adored, people smash it.

It's interesting when people get what they were itching for when they couldn't have it, they don't want it anymore.

Yep. Happened this week.