I used to post on here a lot when things got bad. I really don't know why that was the only time I came on here, but recently I like coming on here now just to type things out. Good or bad! I forgot how much I actually like to blog etc. Today was an interesting day at work.

I am currently taking care of 4 families at one time. It can be stressful but I AM LOVING IT! Today I took care of a family of a little 6 month old. He is such a cutie. And such a little chunker. I love him so much and you can tell he brought so much life and love to his cute little family. This family is very timid but so sweet. I thought I may have a hard time taking care of this family, but surprisingly they have been my favorite family to take care of so far. Babies who have passed on are so hard on families, this little guy had only half a heart and they knew he would pass soon, but they said they were even lucky to get 6 months. When I help baby families like this I always like to sit back and ask myself how I would handle this situation if I was a mama, and honestly I don't know. I won't ever know till I give birth but even then I hope to never imagine burying my own child.

Anyway on a different note, my boss is so awesome. Brandon. He really is the best boss I have ever had. He is very down to Earth and his main goal with me is to teach me everything to help me as a director and even as a person. He also told me I remind him of his two daughters and ever since then I feel we have an awesome bond. He is someone I know I can ask for help and he won't be mad or anything like that. He is always there to help and his wife, such a sweetie. She treats me like family when I see her, Its so nice to have a boss finally that cares about me and is willing to help me achieve my dreams. I really love what's happening for me.

Today...

Today I have this sort of feeling as i'm getting ready for bed that I absolutely love. I am so proud of where I am. I am so proud of who I have become! 1 year ago I was a mess and messed into things I don't like and want to be a part of. Today I am who I can see raising children and having them look up to me. it's one of the coolest feelings.

One thing I'm not the happiest about it my weight. But as I look at myself today on the computer I realized something, this weight I have, This mass that has taken over me, I love. I love it because it has comforted me through the hard times I have been through over the course of a year. I don't really believe in new year's resolutions because I believe I can make a new one EVERY SINGLE DAY. How neat is that? Tomorrow is the day. I started a gym membership at work and they are going to give me a VIP membership to golds. Which means tanning, swimming, yoga, weights and a healthy Alyssa. I love who I am internally and I want to show that externally too. Yeah there are a lot of stresses in my life right now with money and school, but I really could not be happier with where I am.

I also had a thought today. A lot of people laugh at my love for Disney. My friends, my family, co-workers, Really anyone who I associate myself with. And today I LOVE that part of me. It is one of the most freeing things to be able to take pictures of my Vinylmations or to wear a mickey sweater or to sport my AMAZING simba tattoo in public. I am so proud I love Disney because it means I believe in my dreams. It means I know that I can do what I want and live this amazing life I am born to love. As i'm sitting here even i'm wearing 2 Disneyland bracelets my Little Mermaid T Shirt with my Simba tattoo in sight. even with my minnie mouse in my lap. and I'm just so thrilled to be able to show that I love Disney. Even if I am 23. Anyway I just had to write all these feelings down so I can look back and remember that it's ok. But really I need to do is look down at my wrist to remember who I am. Today I really am just so humbled and blessed. life is truly wonderful.

It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I have been on here and to be honest I really haven't missed it. This is usually a place I come to vent because not a lot of people look on here that I talk to on a daily basis etc. etc. But It's nice to come back and update people and see how the people I follow on here are doing too :)

So I am officially a funeral apprentice as of Nov. 1 2012. It's been quite a change from the graveyard shift job and the typical day to day stuff at work. EVERY SINGLE DAY is different from being slammed to sitting around chatting with the guys. I really love my job but then other days I mean it drains you. I knew this job would be somewhat draining but I had no idea that it would be this draining. I am really tired at night and I want to sleep quite a bit. I still think the graves for 4 years did some damage to my brain and that may be some of the cause but I really put my heart into my job, which in turn is very draining.

A lot has happened in the fact that I had no idea that certain things would happen to me. Like I never I thought I would be the person I am today. It's kind of cool to think about from time to time. I really enjoy staying home, but I really like to go out more often than I used to. I sleep 9 hours a day which is RARE! and I even dress differently than I did. It's really fun and cool honestly. Now I just feel like i'm babbling. Anyway cool. bye.