Everything Is Different.

There are some things that just will stay the same. One thing for me. Work. Work is something that used to be something I enjoyed doing and coming to. Not anymore. Work is something I loath. Something that makes wiping someone's ass so much better than what I'm doing right now. I know it sucks to hear people be negative etc. I'm not being negative on this blog, I'm stating the truth. My job at the lab is something that I feel wastes away my liking for life. I go in every day and see the people who loathe me. They would say it's my fault. It's my own doing. In reality it's our own doing. WE messed up. I have the hardest time when people do not take responsibility for their own actions. Yeah I messed up. I'll admit it, but so did you guys. All three of you. You know exactly who you are. After excluding them out of my life things have changed and everything is different. I have a passion for what i'm doing in school that I have never had before. I'm growing constantly. Every single day. It's something that is really scary. Most can say that when you're twenty two you're supposed to be out partying living it up and being immature. I have never been so proud of myself. I was accept to a school I'm dying to go to. I have genuine friends who love my heart and excuse my mistakes. My character means so much to them. They love the genuine person I am. *these are never in order* Angela: You never read this. I don't even think you know about this blog but here goes. Angela, you really are such an inspiration and a shoulder I lean on. I love you. I never say it, but you are one of my rocks in my life. I will always be here for you and always support you because you are constantly doing that for me. You are constnatly helping me chase the dreams I want to acheive and smack me when I do something I know is dumb and you know I know it's dumb. You are beautiful in everyway. You are someone I love taking pictures of for my portfolio because you are your true self. There are days I know I haven't done much for you and you do so much for me, but you forgive me and we will always be friends no matter where we are in life and where life takes us. You are vital in my life. You are such a good friend. Thank you. Kaylie: You and I had a falling out. Yes we did, but we grew. The other night when we talked, I have never felt so close to you. I have never felt that love for you that I had that night. I care so much about you and your wittle family. Zoey is so beautiful and to see her smile and laugh and to know you created that gives me hope that I may one day be a beautiful mother. YOu are such an example to me. You love our lord. You worship him and have a strong testimony of his word. You show me that it is ok to be you, and be who you want to be. I can go to church and be just the same when I come out, but stronger. You have helped me realize that judgement is something we learn to let go of. You are one that I can rely on with any emotion trauma or problem I am having. You have supported me so much and I am so much more grateful now than I ever have been for you. You are vital in my life. And I appreciate who you are and who you are becoming because I am learning through you to be a better person. I love you. Thank you Greg: You are one of the only people next to my mama who understands my core. You brighten my day when I wake up next to you still sleeping. I love sleeping next to you and grabbing your hand as we are both still asleep. There have been times when I will wake up and our hands are between us clasped tight and our noses pressed against each other and we are asleep. loving each other through our dreams. You are the one person I can walk around in my underwear with and be 100% ok with it. YOu love every curve, every dimple, every line every hair on my body. No matter how it looks. You are and always have been such an example to me. I love you so much and I can't believe I even let you go. I know we have a long road to go, but I know you and I will work out and spend our lives togther. You are my world, and when I see you and you kiss me, the world does melt around me and I feel as though I'm the most important person on this Earth to you. You are vital in my life. I love you so much my grego. Thank you. Mama: Are there really words to what you do for me? Nope. BUt I will sure as hell try. Mom you are the most accepting person I have ever met. You love me for who I am, who I'm trying to be and who I aspire to be. You are the most influential person in my life. Without you I would not be here. Without you I would probably doing things that I wouldn't want to be doing in this life. I love you mom and I am so thankful and blessed you are my mother. I love you. You are vital to me in my life. Thank You. Casey: You are and were my buddy. I miss you. I know our lives have outstretched to the point of an everyday call is impossible, but I want you to know that I love you. I care about you. I think about you often. I miss outlook because of you. You supported me. I supported you. WE lifted EACH OTHER up! You are such a beautiful person. I don't think you believe that at times, but you are. You beam with confidence. I am so proud to say I was and am your buddy. You are also such an example of how to be non judgemental. Especially when it came to me. I'm very much out there and you embraced me and loved me for who I am and who I was growing into being. I love you so much and I know you are going to be doing great things in life and change so many people's outlook on life. I love you so much./ You are vital in my life. Thank you. Vickie: I love watching your little girl grow. You are such an amazing mama and I love watching her through the technology we currently using in this world. You have always been a good friend of mine. Distance has made it more difficult, but even though distance is something that seperates us, I feel close to you. SHaring each others life through youtube and facebook have really connected us in a way that we couldn't when you were here. I am so grateful I am still in contact with you and knowing you are so well and loving life with your amazing husband and beautiful daughter. You are vital in my life. Thank you. Steven: We don't speak anymore. And it's for the best. But I know you read this. I know you check on me to make sure I'm ok and that you still care about me. Know this, I care about you too. I know your brother just left for school and I'm excited for you to start a new adventure by moving out etc. I hate working with you. Given fact. I'm sure you can tell. BUt know this, I'm so grateful you were in my life that time you were. You had me learn lessons I'm sure no one else can teach me. And I'm so thankful for that. Even if it hurt. I'm forever thankful. You helped me find my passion in mortuary science when I was constantly questioning it before class started. You are a pretty cool person and I hope you find what you are looking for in life. You were vital in my life. Thank you. ALyssa/Peanut: You are beautiful. Whatever anyone tells you. Cry. Please cry as much as you want. Love it when you cry. Love who you are when you are vulnerable. When you are vulnerable you invite others to be vulnerable with you. You are an inpiration to many. You show others that following the rules isn't always the best way to get things done. You are amazing. Full of light and life. Believe that about yourself. Believe you are capable of doing anything in this world. You are extremely smart and full of abundance. Passion is your middle name. Peanut Passion. You need to believe that and live that. I love you Alyssa. I do. Even though this is me talking to myself. Know, I love you. YOU ARE VITAL In yourlife, and Everyone who comes in contact with you. I love you. Thank you. Sorry for some reason it doesn't let me do paragraphs when I publish the post... ? hm.