I'm not usually one to be an anxious person or negative, but the last day and a half I have only wanted to stay in bed with it dark and lay down with my teddy bear. I am so terrified to leave home. I don't want to leave my beautiful room, my sweetie lay next to me in bed, I don't want to leave my family and have them be here without me. I have never had so much anxiety before. I am constantly having stomach cramps and worrying 24 hours of the day. Not sleeping and not really eating, it's becoming a problem. My therapist says that I am scared to succeed, and she is right. Because i'm afraid the expectations will rise and I will have to compete with them. I am so scared to leave my grego. I don't want to be forgotten. I'm scared no one will visit me, I'm scared to not have family with me, I'm scared my friends will forget about me. In my mind I know this is all silly, but my subconscious is a lot stronger. I am going. I have to do this for me so I can be the person I want to be and do the things I want to do. I get that, I just want people I know to tag along with me. So I have some sense of security. I had to get this out.